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My dad, thankfully, never mentioned it either. She methodically ripped up every book I'd had at her house, stuffed it down the toilet, and flushed - and anything that didn't immediately flush got the plunger treatment. Until I noticed she had included a drawing of the scene. The Grandmother I don't know if I'm a natural nymphomaniac or just that horniness is in my blood, but 2 weeks after my dad gave me the "birds and bees" speech, I began 'experimenting.

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Took a deep breath, then blurted, "I was masturbating with a ken doll and the head came off inside me. I was dragging them in a wagon towards the ice cream store and the youngest was conspiciously quiet this girl is non stop chatter even with strangers, inanimate objects, herself. Which was really adorable. I was so utterly and totally mortified I have never even spoken of this until now. I showed a girl friend from school how to do it because I assumed she had a teddy bear, too, and deserved to know this information. As I was reaching climax my mother burst through the door, having heard the noise, raving and screaming.

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I lived on a street with lots of old mansions that had huge yards, and there was this place where I would go to read or daydream, in the corner of a neighbor's yard, between some bushes and a wall. I started with JUST TOUCHING 'down there', then graduated to inserting toilet paper 'penises' toilet paper rolled probably like the size of tampons for stimulation after I started reading those romance novels that are basically novel porn. For weeks, I was terrified that she would figure out who I was and tell my parents. I flipped completely out, thoughts of it going up into my uterus and damaging my internal organs again, not properly educated. But I wasn't really a stuffed animal person, and the thing was really too big.

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Description: Adventures In Babysitting. I came back the next night to watch them, and the oldest daughter had made me an apology card. Which Is The Most Mortifying. Lecturing the entire way catholic family. While the mother gives her a stern lecture that this is, "not what Italian girls do. I got this giant relative to 7 year old me white teddy bear for Christmas one year and made an effort to sleep with it, since that's what girls are supposed to do with stuffed animals. Being widely uneducated about how it all worked down there at that point, I would just sit on it and rock. I pretended I was sleeping and stayed there for at least an hour on the couch until my dad left the room. I was so excited about it that, during a sleepover.
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